Do you ever wonder when you'll have enough?
Enough money. Enough time. Enough love. Enough stuff. Enough success. Enough happiness. Enough memories. Enough space. Enough LIFE. When will our efforts produce ENOUGH?
Last week, a stellar, robust, larger-than-life woman who was like my second mother to me succumbed to cancer. I took my daughters to the memorial service over the weekend and I wept for her, her husband, children, grandchildren, and every last person who loved her throughout her short life. The rabbi wove a beautiful service together, apparently like only rabbis can do. Referencing the Talmud, she spoke about the elusive concept of "enough." (Thankfully for me, she spoke in English for this segment of the service so I could grasp the powerful message she offered. I know a few choice words in Yiddish but I doubt those would have done me much good.)
The message was simple: We will never have enough. Well, not in this lifetime, anyway. We will always want more. Even when we are happy, we will thirst for more happiness, for more time to revel in in, for more people with which to share it with. At first, this struck me as deeply sad. Then, in true B (what I call myself) fashion, I got even more thinky thinky and realized how freeing this concept is! If NOTHING is ever enough, then that means I can stop this senseless, frustrating, and downright crazy-making pursuit of it! I'll never HAVE it, so I can stop trying to GET it! Yowzers!! This brilliant and perfectly placed rabbi just saved me about 3 bazillion hours of therapy, gallons of tears, and countless bottles of wine.
Scratch that. I'll still drink plenty of wine.
Only now, I'll do it to celebrate the amount of I DO have. The money. The love. The time. The stuff. The success. The happiness. The memories. The space. The LIFE. I'll rejoice in THAT, knowing that it's the only enough I'll ever know.
How can this approach free YOU from angst and frustration? It's so damn simple that it's one of the most profound things I've ever shared.
You can now live in THIS moment. In THIS situation. In THIS experience, not yearning for what you don't yet have, but rather celebrating with wild abandon whatever it is that you DO have. The suffering we experience comes from the gaps: The difference between what we want (or expect) and what we have. Letting go of the quest for "enough" removes a massive amount of this suffering. It equalizes what we want with what we have.
Happiness isn't having what you want....it's wanting what you have. It's being satisfied with your current state. There is joy in striving, but we should never forget to be happy now. Because, folks, truer than true: Now is all we have. Let that foolish notion of enough go free...and feel the powerful shift in your life that will allow to accept things are they are, not as we envision them to be someday. We don't have someday. We have to-day. Eat that up, people. Eat. That. Up.